Finding stuff

Hey! Thanks for checking out my blog. I had my abortion in Dec 2008, so you can find most of the posts about the nitty gritty by clicking on "2008" in the blog archives, and checking out things from there.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Just because it is the right decision doesn't mean it is easy

What makes this hard for me is that when I was younger I had hoped that by my mid/late 20's I would be able to have children. I sometimes literally crave to be a parent, and I wish I were in a position financially, emotionally etc where I could just have the baby and be joyful about it. I think I would be a pretty good mom. And someday I probably will be.

But the timing just couldn't be worse, coming in the midst of my partner of 3 and a half years and I hmming and hawing about whether or not we are staying together.
We have talked several times about having kids before this. I had even bossily told him I got to choose the names, which he accepted with a loving grin and kissed my forehead. He liked the names I picked.

Don't get me wrong- this is not me questioning whether or not abortion is ethical or even the right choice for me. If you are feeling confused or unsure about the morality of abortion you may want to read this article: It's not the best essay I've read, but its got the gist of things. This is another one to read:

I'm quite sure I'm making the right decision, it's just that I wish my life were different so I could make a different choice.


Anonymous said...

Sharing my experience – reassurance if my decision for an abortion is the right choice for me as an individual
Hello, I’m 22 years old and have been looking for some sort of 'reassurance' that I have made the right thing in having abortion- my partner of 3 and half years too who has been very supportive even though he concealed his panic and worry from me while I was in my first state of shock-after doing two pregnancy tests-(both positive but the day after i was bleeding-i called my docters, speak to a nurse who said that is known in early stages of pregnancy- but it feels like I’m on a light period- she advised that you can get false negatives but not false positives with a pregnancy test-so at the moment i’m unsure if a am-as she said if in the next couple of days it turns into a full period then i would have to cancel my appt for abortion however i’m still bit confused as if cannot have false positives then if i do have a full period-what is going on-miscarrige-i will be going to the docters if this happens) as I am/was on the pill & was using extra protection(you can consider why I & him were so shocked-and as to why I did the two tests) as not planning to get pregnant I was upset as not knowing if my decision was right one-i knew it is logically , financial & emotional but it’s that emotionally attachment to the thought of i have our child growing inside me as a potential person & taking their potential life away but because of these central things to ‘being ready’ is to be ready emotional –it is important- & financial too as this affects their life to provide all what you can for the needs to your/a child-And as we know finances-when we have little of it can affect us emotional –therefore affects the relationship with your partner & your child as a parent-as emotional imbalanced-these are things that are needed to look at to ensure that you yourself are ready for the journey of parenthood, which are significant as, if your not ready as a person-the child’s not going to have the best-& therefore their not ready to be brought into the world
i have a lot more things to do as a person whether with my partner or not-career & activities that i wish to embark on before committing to parenthood, settling down with my partner & having a family are things that i look forward to in my future. After reading the article and the links provided. I know i am making the right decision, if whether i am or not pregnant –i know i would be making the right decision in this stage of my life. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

I know this post is super old, but I just wanted to say thank you for this.

I am a week out from turning 25, in a long term relationship and pregnant. I want nothing more than to be a mother, but now just is not the right time. My partner is starting a masters course, I am launching a business and we have NO money. Being in this situation sucks, so much, but the fact of the matter is that now isn't our time and I don't want to be that person who has a child unprepared. I just can't do it.

I'm so sick with symptoms, as well, something we aren;t prepared for either. We want to be in a place where we have planned for pregnancy as much as the child. Every day I have to take off from my money-job while I launch my business because I can't stand up is another massive chunk out of our budget. Now we know that I get so sick with pregnancy, we can prepare ourselves for that as well.

I guess it is just helpful to hear that some people make this decision from the perspective of desperately wanting children but knowing that now is not the time to have them. So, thanks, your post means the world to me.